Wonderland
by limepurplelemon
Summary: Alice is older and longs for her beloved Wonderland.
1. Prelude

Disclaimer: The concept of Alice in Wonderland does not belong to me, it belongs to Reverend Charles Lutwidge Dodgson.

**Prelude**

Alice had been away from Wonderland for six years and two and a half months.

She had kept count of the years and months subconsciously, not aware of it until it snuck up and prodded till it was foremost in her mind. She recalled her memories there with perfect clarity and fondness. Though she mostly kept Wonderland in the back of her mind and went on with life as any normal girl would.

But there were times; times when she was settling down for sleep and she could not help but let her minds eye wander. The world around her would be dark and quiet but she'd be seeing herself surrounded by talking flowers and taking in all the sites wonderland had to offer. She'd drift off to sleep and awake in disappointment at the sight of her mundane bedroom bathed in mornings light.

That was her favorite word to describe the world she lived in- mundane. It described the people surrounding her as best as any word could. The girls were seemingly brainless, offering no intelligent conversation or whimsical fun, just talk of dresses and gossip. The men were no better, the excluded her, ignoring her and scorning her for opening her mouth and not issuing forth womanish prattle. She tried to talk with them of politics, of live and science. Yet she as always shot down, they looked at her with distaste. Alice told herself it was because they were threatened by any intelligent women.

Alice wondered if there was something wrong with her. There had always been something 'off' about her, at least that's what the household servants said when they thought no one was there to overhear. As normal as she tried to be, and she tried very hard, there were always times where the real her would come out. She could not lie to herself and try to be something she wasn't. She was a dreamer, a romantic and a score of other things. But that set her apart from the cookie cutter image of the times. Her personality and mind alienated her.

Her older sister, Lorina, was the only one who accepted Alice for who she was. She would talk to Alice of science and literature. They would go down to the lake and sit together. Lorina was Alice's best and only real friend, besides her cats Dinah, Elizabeth and Louis. Though she only visited occasionally, she was married to a pleasant gentleman and lived three towns away. In her last letter she had told the family she was pregnant but could not travel. Alice knew that her visits to the family's home would virtually stop for years until the baby was ready to travel that long. Her parents disliked traveling and would probably only go to her sister when their grandchild was due. It would be months. Months she would be trapped with her younger sister, Edith. A snobby little thing if there ever was.

At least she still had her books and her memories to keep her company. They gave her comfort and strength.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Alice leisurely slipper her feet into the shallow waters of the lake, it was noon and she decided to taker her tea outside. Her stockings and shoes were thrown underneath the shady oak a foot or two away from the waters edge. Her tea cup was set on her journal, half empty of the earl grey still warm inside. She had come here to think, but to think of what she had no idea. There were birds chirping and wisps of cloud moving slowly overhead. She found herself thinking that the clouds of Wonderland were identical to the ones in her world. _How I wish I could go back, if only for a day…_ Without particular thought Alice finished her tea and picked up her journal and pencil and began to write.

She looked up when she realized that darkness had closed in and the air became chilly. She closed the book, the pencils point was worn down and the eraser was gone; overused. She squinted in the lack of light as she looked for her things. After a few minutes she had everything but one of her stockings, she swore she had put it with the other. A few more minutes of searching in the full darkness of night she gave up. Her mother would be angry and understandably so, this wasn't the first time she had lost a stocking. She headed home- thankfully it wasn't that long of a walk but the stocking-less foot was being rubbed painfully against the back of her shoe. She winced as she thought of the blister she'd get.

Before she reached her homes back door she removed her shoes so she wouldn't make so much noise sneaking in. Her parents most likely had not noticed her absence. Her internal clock never had been very reliable and she had no idea if dinner was getting started of it had ended. She opened the door a small bit, not even a sound from the rusty joints. Her hand pushed the door open a little more, slowly, but the door joints protested in a groan. Alice froze, her ears straining in the dark kitchen. Dinner had come and gone and she had missed it. Refusing to think of her empty belly she continued her way careful. One safely up in her room she gently shut the door. Felling around she found her bed and then her bedside table where her oil lamp was. She turned the knob and the room became dimly lit with a tiny flame. Parts of the room were still dark, giving the room a mysterious look to it. Alice got herself ready for bed and braided her pale golden hair. She sat on her bed and her drowsiness hit her. Sluggishly she pulled her sheet away and crawled beneath them and turned out the lap. When the light went out she fell into a fitful sleep.

Her dreams were of Wonderland as they always were.

The light through her eyelids woke her, she lie there trying to hold on to her dream and wishing to continue it. But she couldn't of coarse, but now she had more fuel for writing. She reread what she already wrote and smiled in satisfaction. It was based on back when she was eleven, back when her younger self had gone to Wonderland. Thought the character of herself was different then the real Alice had been and the Wonderland she traveled to wasn't the same either. She had used some of her memories but she had used her imagination for the rest. She would not write down her Wonderland, she would not share the real memories. It was selfish but she wanted to keep the memory to herself. Still, she wanted to do what child Alice had wanted to do, and share a bit. Young Alice had been laughed at and teased until she thought she couldn't take anymore- but this Alice knew a way to avoid that for herself. The phantom laughing rang in her ears and caused her heart to constrict painfully. Some wounds could not be fully healed with time.

She picked up a fresh pencil and began writing where she left off. Her cats jumped onto her bed and curled up near her knees. She looked up for a second; she hadn't realized they had been gone until they had come back. She shook her head and went back to her work.

"Almost finished." Alice said, her voice sounded strange to her ears after so long of not hearing it. Snow-drop's ears flicked. Alice let her cramped fingers scratch the white cat's fur, a light purr issued forth. She scratched the other two in the same manner. "I think it's time that we all had some lunch." She said thoughtfully, her stomach growled loudly, causing Louie to jump. She giggled and smoothed down his fur. "Sorry."


End file.
